Amaryllis
by conspiracie
Summary: Tonks gets her hopes up. Angsty DH bit.


AN: Originally posted at Metamorfic_Moon.

Amaryllis

Two days ago at the grocer, she'd seen him buying nothing but an amaryllis. Since then, she'd held nothing but excitement for the Order meeting that was convening at the Burrow today.

They hadn't spoken in a month, and they hadn't been seeing each other for several. She hadn't tired of trying to convince him he was wrong, but she'd sensed he was tired of her pleas and she'd had the forethought to back off a bit and let him alone. He had to have time to think, she'd figured. He was a very thoughtful sort of man. Not that it hadn't been a terribly painful four weeks – quite the contrary. Every time they'd crossed paths, they'd had a tense exchange that left her tired of the way things had turned out. She'd been so careful not to let him see her at the grocer, for fear of having another one of those exchanges. She'd just watched his every move from the produce aisle.

She wasn't mad at him. She had never been mad. She would forgive him in an instant if he gave her the chance. A week ago, she'd thought that chance might never come.

But then he'd bought the flower. Not just any flower, either – an amaryllis, which, she knew, was his favorite. "They begin blooming when everything else is dying," he had told her, the first time he had brought one to her flat. "They're not afraid to be beautiful amidst the decay around them."

Her flat had been filled with amaryllis blooms over the course of the last winter. Now it was a year later, near the end of November, and getting colder every day. The wind blew her brown hair around and numbed the tips of her ears as she walked through the busy Muggle-ridden street into an alley where she could Disapparate inconspicuously. She was happier then she'd been in weeks. He was going to try to win her back today; she knew it. She'd seen the flower. There was no other possible explanation. She would forgive him instantly, and they would be happy again. In a couple weeks, Remus would laugh about how stupid he'd been, casting her aside like that. He'd tell her that he'd never do it again, and she'd kiss him and tell him she loved him. She closed her eyes and smiled as she pictured the Burrow and pivoted in the darkness.

She landed on the front steps of the Burrow and marched up to the door, knocking eagerly.

"Who's there?" came Molly's voice.

"Tonks," she said. "I blew up your son Charlie's cauldron in our third year Potions class and you had to send him a replacement, except he told you he blew it up himself so he wouldn't get me in trouble and you sent him a Howler blaming him for being stupid."

Molly opened the door, smiling faintly.

"I felt terribly guilty for weeks," Tonks said. "He was really nice about it, though."

"We'd hoped he was enamored with you," Molly said.

"All the girls in my dorm thought he was," said Tonks with a smile.

"You should smile like that more, dear," said Molly. "You look much more healthy. Come in, you're the first to arrive. Tea?"

"Thanks," said Tonks, and she followed Molly into the kitchen. She noticed that the long table for the Order members was set up in the adjacent dining room, and then she noticed the centerpiece of the table and her heart sank.

"Molly?" she said, her voice tight. "Um… where did you get this flower?"

Molly didn't even have to look over her shoulder. "Oh, that? I thought you'd like it, it's such a lovely shade of pink. Remus came by yesterday and gave it to me. He said this place would do well with a little color and I could hardly disagree. I've been so busy, I have no time to liven up the house."

"What else did he say?" Tonks said, still staring at the amaryllis in disbelief.

"Well, he said he got it to thank me for the work I've done for the Order. Of course I told him it was no trouble – are you all right, dear?" For she'd turned and seen Tonks chewing her lower lip and fiddling with the ring on her third finger, with all traces of a smile gone from her face.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine," Tonks said, forcing a smile. "That – that was sweet of him."

She took the tea from Molly and sat at the edge of the table with her back to the flower. She'd thought amaryllises were theirs, somehow. She'd thought, last winter, that he'd shared the blossoms only with her. But that was ridiculous, now that she'd been pulled from out of her forty-eight hour fantasy back into the real world, where there were no spontaneous happy endings. He'd had amaryllises since he was a boy. He probably had them every winter. She hadn't been anything special.

Order members began trickling in, most engaging in pleasant conversation with Molly, all leaving her alone. He, of course, was one of the last to arrive. His hair was wet, plastered against the side of his face. He hadn't shaved in some time. He looked rather gaunt. There was a patch of red fabric on his elbow; otherwise, his clothes were shades of brown and gray, also wet. She hoped it was snowing at last, but knowing her luck it was probably just a little shower.

"Hello," she said with terseness that she hadn't intended. He gave a little nod and sat at the opposite corner of the table, so that the flower in the center completely blocked his face from her view.  
The meeting dragged on and ended and he left. Tonks wanted desperately to be able to see that he'd looked at her painfully, or that he'd intentionally brushed his hand against hers, or something like that, but no, nothing had happened. It served her right, for snooping around at the grocer. Merlin, she thought as she walked dejectedly back to her flat in the rain, she'd been silly and completely daft to expect anything out of the ordinary from the grocer.


End file.
